On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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