Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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