Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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