pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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