I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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