i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
