my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
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just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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