When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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