I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize