Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
