p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
