I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
