yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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