I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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