the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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