alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
