The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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