i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
