Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Can I color on your dick again?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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