I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
