Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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