Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize