I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize