my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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