call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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