Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
