at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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