Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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