Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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