So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
