I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
