if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
