so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
