Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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One blow job doesn not make me gay.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
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We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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