Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
