she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
