tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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