we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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