Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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