So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
