East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
