the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
