I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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