you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
