I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
