R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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