I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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