Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
