He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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