32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
