She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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