where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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