i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
