Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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