is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So vagazzling was a success
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize