We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
