How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Randomize
