I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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