He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
