can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Did I show you my penis last night?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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