I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
a search helicopter?!
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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