she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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