This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize